Terms of Service
Last updated: October 28, 2026
These terms are an agreement between you and Protify Consulting LLC, an Illinois limited liability company (“we”, “us”), which operates Professional Baby at professionalbaby.com (the “Site”). By using the Site, you agree to these terms and to our Privacy Policy. If you don't agree, please don't use the Site.
1. Who can use the Site
You must be at least 18 years old to use the Site.
2. What the Site is
Professional Baby makes humorous, LinkedIn-style profiles for babies. Making and sharing profiles is free; some downloads cost money (see “Paid downloads”). Everything on the Site is for entertainment only. Nothing on it is advice of any kind, including about a child's sleep, feeding, health, safety or development. Always follow your pediatrician and trusted safety guidance.
The jokes were written ahead of time with the help of AI tools and approved through a human-led review before going live; the Site picks from them to assemble each profile. Despite that review, a line may occasionally miss the mark. If something seems inappropriate, please tell us at contact@professionalbaby.com.
3. What you enter and share
- Only enter the first name of a child who is yours or whom you have permission to feature.
- Enter the baby's real birthday or any date you like. It's used to work out an age and to show famous people born on the same day; profile links carry the age in weeks and the birthday's month and day, never the year (see the Privacy Policy). Profiles are for babies up to 3 years old.
- Don't enter names or details that are offensive, hateful, harassing, or meant to mock or identify someone without their permission.
- Profile links contain what you entered (including the baby's age in weeks and the month and day of the birthday, from which the full birthday can be worked out) and can be opened by anyone who has them. You're responsible for where you share them.
- When you post a profile link, the preview other people see shows the baby's first name, future job and headline (never the photo).
- “Mutual Connections” names real public figures born on the same day of the year as the baby, taken from public sources (Wikidata). It's for fun: those people aren't connected to the baby or to Professional Baby, and don't endorse either.
- Only add a photo of a child who is yours, or with the permission of the child's parent or guardian.
- Don't add photos that show nudity, that are sexual, violent or hateful, that show anyone other than the baby in a way they haven't agreed to, or that you don't have the right to share.
- Photos and their links can be seen by anyone who has the link. You're responsible for where you share them.
- Keep your creator link private. Anyone who has it can change the profile and its photo, and the changes show for everyone who has the profile's link. You're responsible for who you give it to. Only enter an email address that's yours.
- We may remove any photo that breaks these rules or that we're asked to remove, without notice, and we report suspected child sexual abuse material to the authorities as the law requires.
4. Paid downloads
What you can buy. A clean printable profile (US$4.99), a clean birthday keepsake (US$4.99), or both (US$7.99), plus any sales tax, which is calculated at checkout. Prices may change; the price shown at checkout is the one you pay.
Free previews. You can download both for free with a “Preview” watermark, a header and a footer. Please don't remove or hide them on free versions.
What a purchase includes. A purchase unlocks clean downloads for one baby's profile: the profile your creator link belongs to. That includes later versions of the profile, swapped lines, a new photo, either paper size, and downloading it again, for as long as we offer the Site. Your creator link is how you get back to your purchase on any device, so keep it. If you lose it, email us your Stripe receipt and we'll send you a new creator link.
Delivery. Paid downloads are delivered immediately on the Site as PDF files, and you can download them again any time with your creator link. Nothing is shipped.
Personal use. Paid downloads are for personal, non-commercial use: print them, frame them, share them with family and friends. Don't sell them or use them in products for sale.
Refunds. If you're not happy, email contact@professionalbaby.com within 30 days of buying, with your receipt or the profile's link, and we'll refund you in full, no questions asked. Refunds go back to your original payment method through Stripe; after a refund, downloads for that profile return to the free preview versions.
Payments. Stripe processes payments under its own terms. Your purchase is with Protify Consulting LLC.
Birthday keepsakes. A keepsake's facts come from public sources, including the U.S. Energy Information Administration, the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Freddie Mac, Wikidata and news reports. Figures are rounded and approximate. We check what we publish, but we can't guarantee every detail is complete or correct, and a keepsake isn't a historical or financial record. Names of people, songs, companies and indexes belong to their owners; mentioning them doesn't mean they're connected to or endorse Professional Baby. If the week of the baby's birth hasn't been written up yet, the keepsake shows everything else at once and the time capsule after our next weekly update.
5. Acceptable use
You agree not to:
- scrape, crawl or download the Site's content in bulk, or use automated means to access it beyond normal personal use (search engine indexing that follows our robots.txt is welcome);
- get around rate limits or other protections, or interfere with the Site's operation;
- copy, republish or sell the Site's content, or use it to build a competing product or to train AI models;
- use the Site for anything unlawful, or to impersonate or harass anyone.
6. Our content, and what you may do with it
The Site, including its text, the collection of jokes and templates, the generated profiles, the logo, and the name “Professional Baby”, belongs to Protify Consulting LLC and is protected by copyright and other laws. We give you a personal, non-commercial, revocable permission to view profiles you make and to share them, including links and screenshots, with friends, family and on social media. Any other use requires our written permission.
You keep whatever rights you have in photos you add. You give us permission to store, resize and show your photo to people who open links to it, only to run the Site, until it is deleted.
7. Not affiliated with LinkedIn
Professional Baby is a parody inspired by professional networking profiles. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by or sponsored by LinkedIn Corporation. LinkedIn is a trademark of LinkedIn Corporation.
8. Changes and availability
We may change, suspend or stop any part of the Site at any time. If we stop offering paid downloads, we'll give at least 30 days' notice on the Site so you can download what you've bought. We may update these terms; the date above shows the latest version, and continuing to use the Site means you accept the updated terms.
9. Disclaimer
THE SITE IS PROVIDED “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE”, WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. WE DON'T PROMISE THAT THE SITE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, ERROR-FREE OR TO YOUR TASTE IN HUMOR.
WE MAKE NO GUARANTEE THAT ANY INFORMATION IN THE SITE'S GENERATED CONTENT IS ACCURATE, COMPLETE OR UP TO DATE. THIS COVERS EVERYTHING THE SITE MAKES, INCLUDING PROFILES, MUTUAL CONNECTIONS, BIRTHDAY KEEPSAKES, PRINTABLE VERSIONS AND IMAGES. DON'T RELY ON IT FOR ANY PURPOSE.
10. Limitation of liability
TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, PROTIFY CONSULTING LLC WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, OR FOR ANY LOSS OF DATA, GOODWILL OR PROFITS, ARISING FROM YOUR USE OF THE SITE. OUR TOTAL LIABILITY FOR ANY CLAIM RELATING TO THE SITE WILL NOT EXCEED THE GREATER OF ONE HUNDRED U.S. DOLLARS (US$100) OR THE AMOUNT YOU PAID US IN THE TWELVE MONTHS BEFORE THE CLAIM.
11. Indemnity
You agree to defend and hold harmless Protify Consulting LLC from claims arising out of what you enter or share through the Site or your breach of these terms.
12. Governing law
These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Illinois, without regard to its conflict-of-law rules. Any dispute will be brought in the state or federal courts located in Illinois, and you and we consent to their jurisdiction.
13. Contact
Protify Consulting LLC, Illinois, USA · contact@professionalbaby.com